Guilty Pleasures

We all have hobbies that might be classified as “guilty pleasures”. They are activities that are not necessarily bad, but in excess they may serve as distractions.

Distractions can be a good thing. They allow us an escape from the real world, if only for a short duration. They can also be a bad thing—a force to pull us away from challenges that need to be faced, tasks that demand attention, or conversations that need to be had.

These are some of my guilty pleasures and how/when they manifest:

American College Football

With the wife in grad school, I am able to watch as much as ever on the weekends. And it’s particular exciting these days because my favorite team, the Oklahoma State Cowboys, is off to a fantastic start. And since this is mainly a weekend thing, I am able to remain focused on more important things during the week.

Fantasy Football

I am an obsessive fantasy football player. I am in three leagues and spend hours preparing before the season starts. Now that the season has begun, I generally give it a few minutes each day to check news and read analysis for the next weekend’s games.

Sporcle.com

As I have always enjoyed trivia about most any topic, I find Sporcle.com to be one of the most fun (and relatively edifying) ways to occasionally spend a couple of minutes in the evening. This timed quiz site makes even the blandest of topics entertaining.

What are your own personal guilty pleasures? How do you keep them from taking over your life?

Overdoing Social Networking

If you’re anything like me, you find a lot of value in social networking. Whether it’s maintaining current relationships, rekindling old ones, or simply creeping on others, social networking is one of the most powerful and addicting mediums in our world today.

So how do we maintain a balance? It is a medium to which we can become enslaved. I realized I was in a little too deep recently, so I set some rules for myself:

1)      Hide or unfollow anyone who pollutes your feed with excessive negativity, distracting photos, or otherwise unedifying material.

2)      Only post things that edify others. Unless you are really famous, most people don’t care what you had for dinner or when you went to the gym.

3)      Only login on the computer occasionally. I have found that checking social media sites while on the computer can quickly devolve into a major time-waster if you don’t have a plan.

4)      Designate certain times of the day to check in on a mobile device (if you have one). This keeps you from checking it every hour every 15 minutes throughout the day.

These general guidelines have helped me balance my real life with social media world. While social media is a wonderful tool, it was created to enhance our lives—not to become our lives.

How do you balance your life when it comes to social media?

How do you change your own life?

Most of us have things we don’t like in our own lives. We’re fatter, lonelier, poorer, less motivated, less physically fit, or otherwise falling short of what we would want to be. Yet to do something about any of those things often seems paralyzing.

Michael Hyatt wrote recently about the power of incremental change over time. While most of us are change-averse to some degree, if we set a plan in motion to make a big change little-by-little, it breaks a task that seems impossible down to something very achievable on a day-to-day basis.

I can personally attest to the power of making small changes for an extended period of time in several areas within my own life:

1) Weight Loss – Two years ago, I was 50 pounds heavier with no positive developments in sight. Rather than starving myself and obsessively working out (leading to burnout), I made incremental changes in my daily habits and lost the weight in a few months (and kept it off).

2) Debt Repayment – Not long ago, the wife and I had more than $35k in student loan debt. Today, we have cut that number in half with no major increases in annual income. Over the next 12-18 months, we hope to eradicate most of the rest.

3) Scripture Memory – By the end of 2011, I will have memorized several long portions (most being 8-12 verses each) of scripture simply through daily repetition.

Though we can rarely enact massive changes all at once, all of us can make significant progress toward larger change a little at a time with a little bit of self-discipline.

What do you not like about your own life? How could you begin to change things day-to-day and over time move closer toward where you would want to be?

Affirming Others

Paying someone a genuine compliment costs you next to nothing, yet it can truly make the day of the person on the receiving end of your compliment. There is perhaps no other way to greatly bless someone else at such a minimal cost.

Over the past year, I have made a conscious decision to affirm other people in my life on a consistent and systematic basis. It has cost me very little in the way of time or personal comfort, but in many cases it has been of tremendous benefit to people in my life. No matter how confident or secure we are, all of us can benefit from a sincere compliment.

There are three primary ways that I recommend doing this, and circumstances will usually dictate which is the most appropriate.

1) In-person – When you can give a compliment in person, it can be a tremendous blessing because of the face-to-face connection involved in the exchange. However, it is often difficult to time and can be awkward. It is perhaps most appropriate for times when you are affirming someone in front of their peers.

2) Electronically – One of the simplest ways to affirm someone is through e-mail, text message, or social networking. While not as warm as an in-person exchange, it is convenient for you and for the receiver.

3) Hand-written note – In my opinion, in the digital age this combines the best aspects of the in-person and the electronic. It has a personal touch, minimizes the timing issue, and provides the receiver with a tangible keepsake (if they are the sentimental type).

Tell me about a time where someone paid you a sincere compliment. What was it, and what did it mean to you?

Finding the extraordinary in the ordinary

Life doesn’t have to be lived from one “mountaintop” to the next. If we take a step back, we can often find beauty in the ordinary. Here are some of the every day moments that I find invigorating:

• Spending extended quality time in meaningful conversation with those closest to me
• Going on a run outdoors—when I’m not in a hurry
• Sincerely affirming others—especially when they appreciate it
• Hitting my stride on a big project I have undertaken
• Preparing for and leading a discussion with a group of engaged participants
• Participating in an intense session of corporate worship
• Being truly captivated by a really good book, blog post, or idea
• Spending a quiet morning in prayer on my back porch at sunrise

When do you feel fully human and fully alive?

Coming off the Mountaintop

We all enjoy “mountaintop” moments—times where life is exhilarating and everything seems to be in its right place. These instances are memorable and inspiring. Yet they are also fleeting, often passing away more quickly than they came.

It is tempting to live our lives from one “mountaintop” moment to the next, but doing this often leads to disappointment. The next “big thing” doesn’t come as quickly as we would like, or it doesn’t turn out to be as spectacular as the last “big thing”.

We must learn to seek joy, beauty, and contentment in the everyday things while also enjoying the “mountaintop” moments when they come.

Yet when these "mountaintop" moments pass, we must let them go.

How do you find joy, beauty, and contentment in everyday life?

Idle Time

No matter how busy we think we are, we all have moments of idleness when we are standing in line, stuck in traffic, or simply in between tasks. Here are three things that I do to make the most of a few minutes here and there:

1) Read

I generally keep a book with me wherever I go—usually something fairly light that I can easily pick up and read a few pages. I have found that books with short chapters, leadership books, and humorous books are the best in these instances.

2) Prayer / Reflection / Journaling

While I believe most of these activities are best maintained in focused and intentional moments, they can be an awesome way to spend a little extra time as well.

3) Social Networking

Like anything else, social networking in excess can be a bad habit. However, I find that idle time is the ideal time to check up on tweets or facebook statuses.

What do you do to make use of those idle moments that occur sporadically?

The Cost of Smiling

I have heard that life is approximately 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it, and I find this to be true. While we cannot always control our circumstances, we can control our responses to them.

For the past 13 years, I have sought to face most all circumstances with a smile. This decision has paid off more handsomely than I could have ever imagined. Not only does it make me less likely to dwell on the negative when something happens, it can also brighten the day of someone else. In many instances, people have approached me to tell me how much they appreciate seeing my smile.

It costs little to smile, but the cost of not smiling may be even greater. When I fail to smile, not only am I more apt to dwell on negative circumstances, I also opt out of the opportunity to bless someone else with a smile.

This is something incredibly simple, small, and nearly universal in its application.

What is a small, simple gesture that you have found to have an impact far beyond its cost to you?